Is it just me or does it seem like the sooner Christmas comes around, the sooner we’re putting it away these days?!

Needless to say, I’m not one of those “crazy folks” who subscribes to the notion of taking down every light, stocking, and garland two days after Christmas. Frankly, if it were my decision, the decorations would stay up year round as a constant reminder to keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and a steady stream of gingerbread coming out of the kitchen! The tree would continue to beckon us eagerly into the living room each and every morning with treats and goodies underneath, and outdoors a blinding array of holiday lights would plunge men deeper and deeper into debt with the electric company as the competition for luminescent domination twinkles on without seasonal limitations. Yes, Sir’ee – life would be a winter wonderland 24×7 / 365 if it were my call…

…but as many a man is reminded within the walls of his own castle, decisions such as “leaving the Christmas decorations up all year long” or “installing a plasma TV in the bathroom” tend to fly much in the same way that pigs or large quantities of bricks do when sharing our bold and innovative visions with the fairer sex. Just between you and me, I’m not really sure where that term came from, as it doesn’t seem all that fair to me that they can take up approximately 83,000 square feet of the house with assorted porcelain unicorns and cherubs, and yet we can’t have a small, out of the way corner to keep the Christmas tree up just a bit longer! You say that anything Santa-related can only be on display during the holiday season, whereas as far as I’m concerned, those cherubs of yours are ugly pretty much anytime of the year, so where does that leave us?

It leaves me begrudgingly packing all of our Christmas stuff back into boxes for another year, that’s where! And I guess when it comes down to it, even with my loathing of all-things cherub-related aside, more so I just hate packing up my winter wonderland because it means that I now have another eleven months to endure before I get to take in all of the joys of Christmastime all over again. Ok, so this year I’ve only got eight and a half months because my stalling techniques got me out of any early-January removals, but it’s still not enough for me. My all-time record for leaving up the Christmas tree was until June, but I suppose I’m also required to mention that I was very single at the time, living by myself in an apartment, and more than once my ever-so-loving friends have hinted that maybe the tree itself might’ve had something to do with that! That’s crazy talk, as far as I’m concerned – I mean, what babe doesn’t love a good Christmas in July party? And what better way to be the most prepared for your celebration than to just never actually take down your decorations in the first place…

But now that I do have a faithful, albeit somewhat bah humbug-y lady friend by my side, I can see that I don’t really have much option to taking down the lights, etc… prior to Memorial Day. And it’s not even like it was up in Michigan where at least, go figure, I had the weather on my side and I could concoct up an excuse like, “It’s way too cold outside – I’m gonna wait until the temperature gets a little warmer…” all the while knowing that the temperatures in Northern Michigan don’t even begin to climb back into fathomable heatwaves until, oh say, August! That excuse doesn’t really work down here in Florida where it’s still seventy degrees outside in December at eleven o’clock at night. Maybe “It’s too hot outside???”

Didn’t think so.

Of course, it’s in times like these when I realize the one downfall to having the awesomest Christmas lights display on the block, besides the obvious having to get a second job to cover the electric bill. As I’m sure some old, fruity-looking philosopher once said while enjoying fresh apples in an orchard in Europe one afternoon, “What goes up must come down.” Let it be said that I’m not looking forward to taking down 20,000 lights from this humble abode, but in the same rite, “What comes down will also go back up in less than eight and a half months…”

If anyone needs me, I’ll be quietly humming carols to myself in the corner until then…