What can I say? At least not all of us are being hit by this whole recession thingy…

A couple of weeks ago I posted a list of gift-giving suggestions during these hard-lived times when the checkbook’s run dry and the $3 bottle of vodka you had stashed away in your den for just this scenario has run even drier, but then a very special holiday catalog showed up in my mailbox and reminded me of something important that most of us tend to forget during hard economic times like these – if we’d have just been born rich, this whole recession thing wouldn’t really be all that bad.

I mean, sure – you and I might be struggling just to make ends meet, cutting back on fancy lunches and other amenities so that we can still afford to get something nice for our spouses or kids, but even in tough times I think it’s important for us to every now and then take a step back and think of the rich people who really aren’t affected by this recession in the slightest. Just because you had to eat bologna and Ramen all week to pay the power bill doesn’t mean that rich people are cutting back on their champagne and caviar in order to keep all of the lights sparkling around their tri-level mansions down on the waterfront!

I know it’s sometimes hard for us ordinary folks to consider the multi-millionaires when we’re dealing with financial troubles of our own, which is why I was just so happy the other day to receive Neiman Marcus’ annual Christmas catalog in the mail. Filled with custom-made golf courses and diamond-studded perfume bottles and $500 purses, while it may only serve as a distant pipedream for me as I flip through its glossy pages drooling over items I could barely afford pictures of, at the same time it’s comforting to see those four and five digit prices and know that the rich men and women of this great country still have a place to spend their hard-born-into money while the rest of us are all going into foreclosure…

So I don’t want to waste too much of your time – I know that many of you have second or third jobs to get to in order to still be able to splurge on that generic, store-brand ham for Christmas dinner, but promise me something as you head off into the night, neglecting time with your loved ones so that you can with any luck later buy their love back and wrap it under the tree for Christmas morning. The next time you’re in the mall, whether it’s because you’re pricing out the ladies perfume sets so you can get your wife the best bang for your five bucks or maybe you’re just reporting back to work at the pretzel stand after your 30-minute lunch is up – do yourself a favor, stop by the Neiman Marcus store and pick-up a copy of their annual holiday catalog spectacular, The Christmas Book. Not only will it give you a very brief glimpse into the world of rich people before you’re shooed out of the store like the riff-raff that you are, but more importantly it’ll give you an impressive, $15 glossy reminder that you can keep in the bathroom to flip through anytime you start feeling sorry for yourself about all of this crazy recession crap…

Worried about paying the water bill this month? Just flip to page 24 and you’ll find a hot blonde whose lipstick probably costs more than your measly water bill.

Can’t afford to tip the garbage man this holiday season? Check out the Ultimate Record Collection on page 71 – you could probably pay ten garbage man salaries for that, or one or two less and throw in a hefty Christmas bonus!

Looking for something extra special to get the perfect man in your life this year? Man, he’d die and go straight to heaven if you could get him some court time with The Harlem Globetrotters, as featured on page 77, but don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll love that cardboard Nerf basketball hoop that you got him for his cubicle, too…

Christmas may be about the little things and those that can’t even be wrapped at all, but most of all it’s about the gifts that especially can’t be wrapped because they simply don’t make rolls of wrapping paper big enough to cover any single 7’2” member of The Harlem Globetrotters, let alone the entire team! So in between all of the extra shifts and relentless sobbing as the bills just keep piling higher and higher, don’t forget to take some time to think of the big people out there because at the end of the day during these tough economic times that don’t technically even concern them, rich people deserve a Merry Christmas, too.