I’ve said before that a humor columnist is never really not working because there are always new ideas to gather and random moments throughout our daily lives we encounter that would later end up making for a yet another really hilarious column about the exciting world of beet farming, but truth be told, everyone needs to take a break from it all sooner or later…

No matter how chaotic and uninterruptible the world around you may seem, with raging deadlines just as far as the Eye of Sauron can see, every now and then it’s crucial to take a moment to shake that old comedy Etch-a-Sketch clear and start a new, wiping away all of the worries about less than funny punch lines from your mind and leaving the distraught of low book sales from the previous quarter far behind you!

Also, sometimes these breaks have been known to involve margaritas and deep tissue massage, but more on that in a minute…

Whether it be a week, a month, or even just an afternoon to sit around and watch Game of Thrones all day and totally not think about writing, sometimes the very best that you can do to kick-start your creative process is surprisingly absolutely nothing at all!  For my own example – while you’re reading this right now, I’m actually out basking in the sun on a relaxing, 7-dayCaribbeancruise with my wife.  We’re having a blast, I’ve already won the limbo contest for the third night in a row, and I totally haven’t blown all of our Christmas money on slot machines down in the ship’s casino, either!

The point is that just like in any other profession, the writer’s brain needs some time off every now and then so that it doesn’t get so overloaded that it either thinks that everything is funny, or conversely, that nothing is funny anymore … both of which are pretty bad assuming that said writer’s target audience isn’t college stoners on a midnight quest for Doritos and/or the clinically depressed.  We all need a little time off every now and then to forget about life, the universe, and everything for a while, to let our minds wander freely without having to think about how to make a joke every time we see a funny name on the wine list (“Toasted Head – seriously?!”) or bear witness to a Homer Simpson-esque figure with seemingly no concerns whatsoever about getting stuck going down the water slide (“Mmmmmm – emergency diet!”).

As those who’ve taken it upon ourselves to entertain the masses with our unique brand of marvelous witticisms, we kind of owe it to ourselves and to our readers to take those well-earned vacations to theme parks and cruise ships and other exotic resort destinations each year, to drink those umbrella-laden tropical drinks and savor every last drop of that everlasting sunshine while we’re away so that when we do reluctantly return to the land of reader trending reports and book retailer return policies, we feel refreshed enough to be able to triumphantly take on our task of writing humorously about the likes of alligators and supermarkets and jolly, old St. Nicholas all over again!

And please note that if upon my return from my own current tropical getaway, you overhear me making mention of “just getting right back on the boat and taking another whirl,” know that my only intention really is to maximize my relaxation so as to be able to write even funnier humor for you.

Every massage, every snorkeling excursion, every trip up to the late night snack bar for just a couple more cookies before heading off to bed – all of these sacrifices I make for you because hey, these jokes about frog brothels and puppy piddle don’t just write themselves…