How to get in touch with me, you ask?

Want to send me all sorts of praise and presents and multi-level marketing scams, you say?!

Ok – so here’s the deal: Sure, I could list all sorts of instant messaging IDs and accounts on  Myspace / Facebook / whatever-the-big-who-ha-today is, but in all reality, I rarely ever use any of those things and if you do happen to come across an account, it’s pretty much just for keeping up with old friends and whatnot. So needless to say, if I’m not going to respond anyways if I don’t recognize you in the first place, there’s really no sense in my listing all of them out for you here in the first place…

Instead, the most efficient and easiest way for you to reach me, believe it or not, is by coming to my house and waiting outside my front door for me to get the paper in the morning. No, no – just kidding!!! Please don’t do that – you’ll really freak my wife out, and besides, we’ve got a dog. A big dog, with teeth like ginsu knives and an attitude like Omarosa from the first season of The Apprentice – you don’t want to mess with her, or our dog!

Anyways, really the best way for you to contact me should you so desire is plain, old, ordinary e-mail – the address listed below this missive should do just fine (or feel free to use the form at the bottom of the page). And yes, I do get a ridiculous amount of junk mail at this address because I’ve been using it forever, please rest assured that I’ve gotten used to SPAM well enough to still be able to sort out anything worth reading. That said, please be sure that if you’re going to send me something, it is, in fact, worth reading.

Such e-mails include:

• praise, compliments, and general messages to say that you enjoyed my work
• funny stories that somehow relate to a recent column of mine that you enjoyed
• well thought out disagreements with a recent column of mine, sent with the understanding that The Humor Column is a work of satire and thus should not actually be taken seriously
• requests to pay me to write hilarious prose for you (please note: said prose does not include SEO marketing filler crap for $2 / article)

Got it? It’s really pretty simple – no goofy numbers to remember, no stupid embedded music to endure – just kick up your favorite e-mail client, transcribe onto the screen your intelligent commentary, and when all is said and done, send it off to:

scott@comedic-genius.com

Of course, if you’re too lazy to pull up Gmail or Outlook or whatever, you can also use this ultra-convenient form to send me your thoughts via e-mail without even leaving this page! Ain’t the Internet swell?

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