Why must even going out to eat be so controversial these days?!
I enjoy a nice night at one of our area’s more upscale restaurants just as much as the next guy … arguably even more as of late, if you choose to measure that sort of thing by weight, if you know what I mean! It’s good to get out of the house, try something different for dinner after one has exhausted every meatloaf recipe in the book, and possibly even do a little socializing to boot. With literally dozens of cuisine choices from every corner of the Earth, it helps add a bit of variety to an otherwise boring, mundane meal … variety is the spice of life, you know!
And if that’s the case, then why does a simple night out for dinner have to be such a grueling task? It starts off wonderfully – you both get dressed up to the nines, the men somewhat presentable and their better halves smokin’ hot. The group actually manages to agree on a restaurant, so as to avoid arguing about what so-and-so can’t or won’t eat. You all then meet up at said establishment and dine like kings, with each dish even more delectable than the last, and then just when you think that the night couldn’t possibly get any better … in comes the check. The food was fantastic, the service was superb, but suddenly the evening takes a turn for the worst as your buddy opts to tip like a pauper for those services rendered that were worthy of a king. And thus the great argument of our time begins again…
It never ceases to amaze me the controversies that seem to arise around the appropriate tip to leave after a meal because really, at this point I kinda thought that the standards were pretty well defined! I mean, I’ve always been taught to go along these lines:
10% - poor / horrible service
15% - standard service (just ok – nothing impressive, but not bad)
20% or higher – amazing service, worth telling other people about
(figures to be adjusted higher when larger parties are involved)
I’ve tipped on both sides of this scale and it seems to work fine for me, and yet I still often times find myself arguing with people about them … and almost always from the perspective that these amounts are way too high, mind you. Apparently for many, 10% is their standard because it’s easy to calculate, while others simply round up to the next nearest dollar, even if it will only result in a tip consisting of pocket change. Others argue that truly bad service doesn’t even warrant a tip, thus shifting the scale to make 10% their standard as well and the oh so high 15% as a goal nearly impossible to attain. And don’t even get me started on those that balk when I tip even higher than 20% – that’s just crazy talk!
Unless I just described your own personal tipping habits in the last paragraph, I’m sure we’ve all been embarrassed by friends or family at least once or twice as far as what they believed to be an acceptable tip when we were out dining together. Sometimes we’ve paid for the meal and they offer to cover the tip in return, or maybe they’ve offered to cover both the meal and the tip themselves, thus leaving us on the sidelines to witness an inadequate tip in the making. Heck, I’ll even be the first to admit that I’ve felt a little sheepish when leaving a table where we both paid our own separate checks and I notice that my dining companion only left a dollar or two when more would’ve been appropriate! And there’s no good way to handle the situation, either, because you can either look like a cheapskate to the waitress as you walk away knowingly or you can look like a jerk to your friend as you discretely attempt to pad their almost-a-tip with a few extra bucks without getting caught. Either way, somebody’s walking away from the table unhappy and after a quality meal, there’s just no sense in that…
And I can agree, mind you, that at some points tipping can be a bit annoying, as we have to wonder at some point why these restaurants can’t simply pay their servers more and incorporate the charges into their food, as opposed to having us pay on the side for the service itself. I’ve heard that it has to do with overhead and taxes and all sorts of other accounting excuses, meaning that adding $2 to your burger and fries might not necessarily translate to an extra $2 in your servers pocket at the end of the night, and whether or not I actually believe that is an entirely different column, but at the end of the day as painful as it can be, there are still some benefits to paying tips separately. Of course, the largest one is the idea of being able to reward good service and likewise discourage poor service by the most direct means possible – money. I’ve yet to meet a single waiter who does what he does simply for his love of serving food to people, so it makes only sense that if there’s a means to encourage someone financially for really doing a great job, then where could we possibly go wrong?! Stay on top of my order, keep the drinks refilled, and answer my questions with a smile and you can count on 20% when I pay the bill, but make me feel like you’ve got better things to do while you ignore my table all night and you certainly won’t be rewarded by me for your lack of service.
But therein lies the other side of the tipping controversy – entitlement among servers. For as many arguments that I’ve heard about not wanting to leave anything more than a buck and change for a tip, I’ve seen an equal if not greater number from the other side of the serving tray shouting a general unhappiness about the system as it is today, in that they don’t believe that leaving that freedom to reward or punish service based on quality in the hands of their customers is the best idea. The most common example being that most other professions don’t knock salaries when an employee is having a bad day, many servers argue that a minimum gratuity – usually around 18% – should be required, and I certainly have a real problem with this. While I understand that you’re intentions are to help curtail those low tippers or even those who refuse to tip at all, I don’t appreciate that freedom to tip lower than “ok” when the service doesn’t deserve it! And I know that waiters and waitresses typically get only a fraction of minimum wage, relying on their tips for a good portion of their income, but it’s not like this is anything new – if you’re not happy with the way that the system works, then feel free to find an hourly job outside of the service industry that offers you a flat wage regardless of the quality of service that you provide to your customers! When I dine out, I have a certain level of expectations with regards to the level of service that I will receive and if that my tip is simply built into the price of my burger, then where’s the incentive to continue giving that good customer service?
As far as I’m concerned, when you make it mandatory, it’s no longer a “tip” – it’s a service fee and if that’s what you want to do, then fine but at least call it what it really is. The original intention of tipping has always been a means to show appreciation to someone for performing a given task, with the common understanding that such appreciation in dollar form would be higher or lower based on just how satisfied the recipient was. And I’m sure that it must be incredibly frustrating to deal with people (some of whom might very well be my friends and family!) who eat a $50 meal and then proceed to leave three bucks and change for the tip, but please don’t take that out on the rest of us by imposing a required minimum! I can tell you right now that when I receive a check with the tip part already filled out for me, regardless of whether the server might’ve actually deserved 20% or 30% for simply providing me the best service ever, I’m only tipping exactly the 18% that you’ve opted to require of me. I know it’s not fair to the little people, but it’s not fair to place a mandate on the act of tipping, now either…
And one last note before I post this column and prepare my inbox for the flood of angry e-mail that I’m going to receive from angry servers and cheap restaurant patrons, to anyone who works at a sandwich shop or an ice cream parlor or anything else of this variety: knock it off with the “tip jars” already! What am I supposed to be tipping you for – the fact that you scooped my ice cream into a cone for me or cut my sandwich in half?! Whenever I see these hastily-scribbled signs taped to the outside of whatever jar happened to be lying around in back, I have to wonder if the owners know that their employees, who are paid normal wages much higher than any restaurant servers are paid, are trying to solicit “tips” from their patrons. I’m not expected to tip the gas station cashier when she rings me up, so take a hint from those folks and just put out a jar for Make a Wish or Jerry’s Kids instead.
No, it won’t help if you sing, either…
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