It’s going to be a big summer, filled with huge stars and fancy lights and lots of stories that we’ve already seen before!
Well, I hope not, but let’s not kid ourselves – the summer blockbuster docket for 2007 is jam-packed with more sequels and knock-offs than ever before and as much as I hate to say it, Harry Potter is probably the only one out of the whole list that most of us would’ve ever considered for sequels, and even that’s simply due to the series of books itself! Hands down, this summer features a plethora of flicks based on other flicks that may or may not be any good, and although I’ve got my own opinions, I’m still willing to give each one the benefit of the doubt and feel them out for what they are. Either way, it’s going to be a long summer filled with many nights spent at the theater, so I thought I’d take this week’s edition to spell out my preemptive thoughts on which films I’ll most likely see at the box office this summer and also explain some of my convictions as to why I’m so concerned about sequel after sequel after sequel after sequel…
Ocean’s 13 (opens June 8th)
This is a tough flick to start out the summer with because although I really loved Ocean’s 11, the sequel was just absolutely horrible and at this point I can’t see how a third installment could possibly redeem this once great adventure in casino robbery. But of course, I’ll end up giving it a shot anyways simply because the first one was so good – a funny and entertaining look into the life of crime, without any death or even gunshots to ruin the mood. Chances that this third episode will bring us back to those days are slim, but I’ve got my fingers crossed nonetheless…
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (opens June 15th)
It’s funny because I wasn’t terribly impressed by the original Fantastic Four movie when I saw it the first time, but the more I’ve watched reruns on HBO and Cinemax as of late, the more I’ve taken to the characters and I’m actually very curious to see how the Silver Surfer adds to the story. I wasn’t really all that into comic books growing up and honestly didn’t even know that the Silver Surfer was a bad guy until I started seeing the previews for this movie, but ultimately there have certainly been worse comic book movies to come out so we’ll see!
Evan Almighty (opens June 22nd)
Now here’s an example of a movie that probably shouldn’t be made, but thanks to a lack of original ideas in Hollywood, we’re going to recycle a four year-old script anyways and try to milk every scene that got laughs last time for the sequel. I like Steve Carell, even though he’s still that actor that I love to hate from his role on The Office; I like Lauren Graham, even though after seeing Because I Said So I just really get the feeling that she doesn’t have a whole lot to do now that Gilmore Girls is over; and I like Morgan Freeman, too, even though his presence as God in the last movie really didn’t do a whole lot for me. Nonetheless, out of all the films on this list, if I have to miss just one of them, Evan Almighty will probably be one that I’ll hold off on until DVD…
Live Free or Die Hard (opens June 27th)
Why must they do this to me?! I absolutely love the Die Hard brand and would probably rank Die Hard: With a Vengeance as one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time, so why, oh why do they have to come back more than a decade later and ruin it all?! Die Hard 4 ranks right up there with Indiana Jones 4 – pretty much everything that there is to say has already been said in the first three movies! They had an awesome run and even the worst of the three (Die Hard 2) still has great replay value, but this is simply too much. I’ll go see this flick for two reasons – 1) because Kevin Smith landed a role in it and I’d pretty much pay to watch Kevin Smith read the newspaper; and 2) because I’m oh so curious to see if, by some miracle of an iota, they can somehow manage to pull a fourth movie off without completely ruining all that Die Hard and Bruce Willis mean forever. I’m not a religious man, but a lot of praying will take place on my way to the theater to see this one…
Ratatouille (opens June 29th)
Pixar’s charming summer tale about a boy and his rat … well, sort of! After last year’s whirlwind affect of being so amazingly impressed with Cars after going in thinking it was going to be anything but watchable, I’ve decided to give this team a bit more of the benefit of the doubt because they seem to have the creative process down and taking what sounds weak / bizarre / just not possible has been their fuel to producing some of my favorite animated films in the last several years. I was really happy to hear Patton Oswalt as the starring voice when I first saw the trailer … I think at the same time I saw Cars, in fact … and of all the uncertainty in blockbusters this summer, I really do think that this will be one of the flicks that we won’t have to worry about holding its own.
License to Wed (opens July 4th)
Finally an upbeat thought about a summer movie for a change! Simply put, after watching the man arguably lead The Office in hilarity for three seasons now, I want to see this movie to see if John Krasinski can hold his weight in a role other than Jim Halpert, and for what it’s worth, it actually seems pretty plausible with this one. Of course, I’m also amidst planning a wedding myself, so maybe we’ll even pick up a few tips … or just what not to do’s … along the way! It looks like it could be a fun flick and with seven other action flicks on the roll call this summer, we’re gonna need a romantic comedy or two to break up the monotony anyways, so why not? Don’t let me down, Jim!
Transformers (opens July 4th)
I was never much of a Transformers fan growing up – in fact, I was more into their competition, the Go-Bots – but I’d still like to see Transformers simply because I’m interested to see what kinds of special effects need to go into making semi-trucks and jet planes transform into human-like robots in the first place. A lot of people find themselves up in the air when it comes to Michael Bay’s work – he’s running about 50/50 with me because although Pearl Harbor was, well, Pearl Harbor, you’ve still got to give the man props for Armageddon and even The Island, as of recent. Will he be able to pull off giant, killer robots? This summer, we’ll find out…
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (opens July 13th)
As much as I’ve enjoyed the Harry Potter series thus far both in book form and up on the silver screen, I’ve got to admit that a series of seven movies does seem to be a bit much for me. And don’t get me wrong, the last couple of films have looked just breathtaking – especially up on an IMAX screen – but I’m simply not convinced that the series that’s been absolutely brilliant on the written page translates as well over to the Hollywood equivalent. Plus, of the six books thus far, I wouldn’t exactly call Order of the Phoenix to be my favorite chapter of the series, so I’m a little discouraged by that, but then again as the opening of the movie coincides with the release of the final book itself, there’s certainly a good chance that that will be enough to rekindle the passion I’ll need to truly enjoy this movie!
The Simpsons Movie (opens July 27th)
Easily the most anticipated movie of the summer for me, I’ve been waiting for years to see how Homer and Bart might fare on the big screen and it looks like this summer we’re finally going to find out! It’s tough to say how The Simpsons will translate into the longer format – whether we’ll get a bonafide 90-minute movie or simply three half-hour shorts tied together like they did for the Family Guy movie that went straight to DVD a couple of years ago, but if anyone can pull it off, I think it’s safe to say that the longest running primetime animated series in history certainly has the best chance! So far everything we’ve seen about this movie, from the trailers to even the idea that some lucky cities might see their local 7/11s converted into Kwik-E-Marts as part of the marketing efforts for the film this summer, has been just absolutely outstanding, so needless to say if I was only able to see one single movie this summer, The Simpsons Movie would easily get my dollars!
The Bourne Ultimatum (opens August 3rd)
Another flick where I absolutely loved the first one and just hated the sequel, I’m really curious to see what happens with The Bourne Ultimatum because – A) I do really like Matt Damon as an actor, and B) the first episode started such an interesting story that you’ve just got to believe that there’s something else to be told with this one. I just ate up that first one, as Matt Damon struggled to figure out who he was and what his mission had been during that time that had conveniently been pushed out of his head, and then to see what had seemingly been just thrown together so haphazardly for the sequel was kind of disappointing, but like so many of the other sequels to hit us this summer, I’m still trying to keep an open mind that the series might get revived with this latest installment.
Rush Hour 3 (opens August 10th)
“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!” I caught the first Rush Hour flick during my senior year of high school way back in the day and hands down, it was easily one of the funniest movies of the year. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker were absolutely hilarious on screen together, and despite doubts even by yours truly, they even brought it back together three years later and kicked it up another notch with the sequel, adding flavor to older, re-purposed jokes the way a good sequel really should. But do they have it in them to do a third? Just like with Die Hard, I’m a little leery of a director who wants to pump out yet another sequel years upon years after his last hit – it just screams, “I’ve run out of ideas – help me, my last hit!” And yet for some reason I’ve got the feeling that this movie would’ve been produced even if its two stars opted to call it quits at numero two – Rush Hour 3 just has straight-to-DVD written all over it…
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