Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)
Genre: Action
Format Viewed: Theatrical Release
Filmography links and data courtesy of The Internet Movie Database.
Prequel to yet another sequel…
Hands down, this movie was just a big disappointment for me, and not simply because in a battle of manhood, I can’t even begin to compete with not one, but five Johnny Depps on screen at the same time! For me it went a whole lot deeper than that because although I really wanted to like this movie because just the franchise as a whole strikes my fancy, it still took every bit of personal restraint that I could muster not to spring up in the middle of the film and exclaim, “Enough already! All you people do is make sequel after mindless sequel – this is what’s wrong with Hollywood today!”
Mind you, I didn’t actually say that because I didn’t want to get kicked out of the theater, but over and over through the entire flick that’s exactly what I kept coming back to because as the one of the first two huge blockbusters of the summer (with Spider-Man 3 being the other), Pirates 3 is a prime example of a movie that shouldn’t really be made because there’s barely any story there at all, but got thrown together anyways because its predecessors made a ton of cash and that’s what the movie industry has become. And that’s really sad because I guess in my perfect world, I’d like to think that it worked more along the lines of where a team works really hard to produce an amazing story and is then greatly rewarded when it succeeds at the box office, or likewise learns a lesson financially if the movie tanks. Instead we simply see the spaghetti against the wall syndrome where everything including a story about the kitchen sink gets thrown against the wall and anything that sticks, or makes money if you will, is automatically signed for a three picture deal. It’s like Hollywood is so vacant of fresh ideas that they’re constantly just scouring the graveyards, thinking, “Hey, what about Turner & Hooch?! That did pretty good back in 1989 – let’s do another one of those!”
I think Pirates 3 was particularly depressing for me just because like I said, it was one of the first two of many, many sequels to play on the silver screen this summer and I think it simply set the stage for what we’ve got to look forward to all summer long. Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard 4), Ocean’s 13, The Bourne Ultimatum – all sequels that we’d certainly love to see rock the house, but if they follow the current trend will likely suck just as most sequels sans plots do these days. I’m going to get more into the individual films of the summer that I’m anticipating in next week’s column so I won’t go into detail here, but I just wish that we could see some new material instead of more unnecessary chapters to stories that should’ve ended the last time the credits rolled. ‘Nuff said – let’s dive into the movie itself…
I honestly think that there’s a lot of potential with the Pirates brand, which is another reason why I was considerably stumped when such a weak storyline unfolded before us. And mind you, I left Pirates 2 feeling a little miffed that the movie ended wide open for a sequel, but nonetheless I still walked out of the theater knowing that I’d be spending my money on that sequel a year or so later. I walked out of Pirates 3 just feeling gypped because like it or not, there had been a story left to tell at the end of Pirates 2 – they just failed to tell it in Pirates 3. It was almost as if the checks had already been cashed, so it didn’t really matter what unfolded on the screen, but just because the audience was already in the seats, that didn’t mean that we were throwing our money away. We wanted to be entertained, and yet instead we’re given a three hour plot that lacked the passion and the drive that the other movies held.
Case in point – the basis of the entire movie is that Jack Sparrow was lost to Davy Jones’ locker at the end of the previous movie and the crew wants to get him back. So they get on a ship and they go pick him up?! The only thing missing was a taxi pulling up on the beach…
You could even see glimpses here and there where the movie really showed promise, but then just got dragged back down by the supporting details – the story that we see near the end of the movie, following the 12-hour fight scene, was actually put together quite well … it’s just a shame that the two and a half hours prior couldn’t have given it a better introduction. Orlando Bloom, as sinister as he appeared at times, really shone bright in this one … and yet Keith Richards, well, his appearance as Jack Sparrow’s father again seemed like it was there just for the sake of being there, with the deal sealed by him sitting back and plucking out a few notes on the guitar. And lastly, just for the record without giving too much away – the homage to Attack of the 50-Foot Woman didn’t do the movie any favors, either. Some things just really make you wonder, I tell ya.
So will I go see Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Hollywood Walks the Plank? While I may be coerced into sitting through it by a certain little lady who loves her some Johnny Depp, I can guarantee you that I won’t be suggesting it for my preferred way to spend a Saturday night out. And it’s too bad, really, because even as much as Disney is pushing the franchise – especially at nearly every gift shop around Disney World – I was kind of taking a liking to the pirate life. The makeover to the theme park ride itself really improved the experience and although I didn’t love the last movie, I didn’t hate it, either. But I think they could’ve done a lot better with this latest installment of Pirates of the Caribbean – if anything, the legend of Captain Jack Sparrow deserved better than that.
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