Ok, so I’ll admit it. Every once in a while I go and do something that you might refer to as, “Stupid.”
You know, something like eating an entire six-cheese pizza, despite previous gripes about a lack of weight loss, or perhaps staying up until 5:00am when, in fact, I have places to go and people to see merely hours away at 8:00am. I recognize that those are what you might call stupid things, and yet here’s another one…
In today’s final travelogue entry for our luscious weekend in Minnesota, something stupid might be checking out of a perfectly nice, clean, and relatively affordable hotel only to relocate for the final night of our trip to the most stagnant, infested, rapiest hole in the wall that has ever been granted a hospitality license by the Minnesota Department of Health.
The justifications? It was about $20/night cheaper and 15 miles closer to the airport.
The reality of the differences??? Well…
luxurious jacuzzi tub in addition to the bathtub/shower in the actual bathroom
a shower so tiny that it required stepping out into the bathroom to turn around
spacious, king-size bed
(and also a nice couch in the corner)
queen-size mattress that somebody may very well have been shot on...
complimentary popcorn, coffee, and mints (along with a microwave and coffee maker in which to make them)
soaps with instructions from a rat describing where they should be used
an above-average continental breakfast featuring eggs, sausage and bacon, danishes, and even waffles with fruit and whipped cream!
the simple relief that we survived to once again see the light of day
Not to mention the subtle fact that the former hotel offered a variety of nearby dining options, whereas the latter required transit through what appeared to be gang territory in order to obtain the evening’s dinner rations from a “nearby” Arby’s. Also, that the former hotel boasted an actual lobby in which lounging could be enjoyed, whereas the latter warranted the need for the desk clerk to be seated behind a protective sheet of bullet-proof glass. I think our only refuge was that even in the brisk, Minnesota summer it was still a bit too chilly for bugs…
So the moral of today’s rape-er-ific tale? How’s about don’t be a cheap ass?! Know a good thing when you’ve got one, especially when it has its own jacuzzi, and next time just plan to get up a little earlier when it comes time to go to the airport!
I mean, unless of course you like motels that encourage you to sleep with your eyes open, that is.
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