Of course, one last but nonetheless certainly worth mentioning about the Mall of America is that if three stories of shops and restaurants, an aquarium, and a movie theater aren’t enough to keep you busy for a whole afternoon, they’ve also got one other amusing little feature that’s coincidentally smack dab in the center of the massive, 4.2 million square foot property.
That’s right – they’ve got their very own amusement park, too…
Parents, prepare to lose whatever remaining control you had of your children ... you can thank Nickelodeon for that.
Mind you, it didn’t take long wandering through this maze of Wooo’s and Arrrggghhh’s to realize that the Nickelodeon of today is quite far from the Nickelodeon of yesteryear that I grew up watching…
Errrr ... having played in a band myself (albeit many moons ago), I can't say as it would be very appealing to strum an electric guitar whilest naked. And don't even get me started about drumming hazards...
So is this some sort of Pokemon guy or something??? What ever happened to Doug, and Rugrats, and Ren and Stimpy?! Or even Rocko's Modern Life?!?!?!
Hey, there's a familiar face! Wait ... what do you mean it's a kiddie ride?! 
After a quick walking tour of the grounds, my wife was able to get me to agree to go on four rides with her … that doesn’t sound too bad, right?!
The problem was, somehow in said negotiations I apparently let her choose the rides…
Yeah ... nothing like a 90-degree drop to start one's rollercoastering experience...
Also, ride is not recommended for guests who happen to be chicken-shits like myself!
Next up - this orange thing that was sponsored by Pepsi...
Let's take a nice break from the twisting and turning to explore the LEGO store!
You sure you don't just want to help Blue look for clues instead??? Everybody luvs Blue!
The worst (i.e. scariest) of them all was something that they were calling the Avatar Airbender…
Yep, all the way to the ceiling...
The basic concept is that you’ve got this surfboard thing that rolls back and forth on a half-pipe … but that’s not enough! On each end of the board is a set of harnesses that spin around on a peg…
Any last words???
You sit in the harness, and it spins while the board rolls back and forth.
If you hadn’t noticed, scroll back and take a look at that first photo again … it rolls all the way up to the ceiling!!! Frankly, I’m not sure which was worse, looking straight up at the supports for the ceiling or looking straight d0wn at the nice, solid ground that I so stupidly left behind. Because that’s the beauty of this design, you see – as this thing spins on its own whim, sometimes you’re at the top when it reaches the top and sometimes you’re at the bottom when it reaches the top.
Yeah.
Another group of patrons "enjoying" their fall, mid-peril.
So needless to say, my day offered quite the adventure through the Nickelodeon Universe. Hell, apparently I didn’t even remember to take pictures of our very last spinning encounter, although I can liken it to what I assume it would feel to spend five minutes riding inside one’s own washing machine … on spin cycle. At the end of it all, somehow I did manage to still have my wallet in my pocket, surprisingly enough, although we then proceeded to empty it throughout the course of wandering the mall, so go figure. All in all a fun day, but also let this be a lesson to all of the spouses out there – full disclosure is a must when coming into any agreement with your loved one, especially when spinning and screaming and plummeting are concerned.
Boy, should the plummeting have raised a red flag…
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