Comedic-Genius Media - Showcasing the writing and other creative works of Scott Sevener...
Not Quite the News... is a satirical news feature that unofficially began at Just Laugh magazine in 2002 and currently spans 49 stories

Back in 2002, I learned during my Just Laugh days that there was really only one type of reporting that I could ever be any good at - the kind where you just make everything up yourself without ever leaving your desk or really even doing any type of "research" whatsoever. Of course, it's always a little bittersweet when the fake news is more entertaining than the real story, but what can you do?

July 1, 2007 - Trans Fats Regroup, Discuss New Plans to Regain Status in America
April 22, 2007 - Donald Trump Chooses Himself to be the Next Apprentice
April 18, 2007 - New Iraqi Government to Impose 3 Rock Income Tax Starting in 2008
April 11, 2007 - Bush Enlists Dept. of Defense to Help Find Presidential Easter Basket
April 4, 2007 - American Idol’s Sanjaya Announces Bid for Presidency in 2008
April 1, 2007 - National Weather Service Urges March to Go Out Just Exactly the Same Way That It Came In, No Questions Asked
March 28, 2007 - April Fool’s Day Cancelled by Dept. of Homeland Security
March 25, 2007 - Ghost of Van Halen Past Haunts Band After Rock Hall Induction
March 21, 2007 - Mexico Proclaims Emergency Cleaning Day After Bush’s Departure
March 18, 2007 - Man Ashamed for Whoring Himself Out on St. Patrick’s Day
March 14, 2007 - Pie Sales Surge as World Celebrates Pi Day
March 11, 2007 - Gingrich Admits to Being a Giant, Hypocritical Douchebag
March 7, 2007 - Crime Spree Flourishes Across Nation with the Death of Captain America
March 4, 2007 - Daylight Saving Police Deployed in Iraq to Enforce ‘Freedom Time’
February 28, 2007 - Black History Month Culminates with Delicious Cake
December 27, 2006 - Local News Team Condemned After Condemning Risqué Miss Nevada Photos
November 29, 2006 - Godiva Creates Luscious-iest Chocolates Ever
November 22, 2006 - Universal Music Group Sues Unborn Child, Just to Be on the Safe Side
November 19, 2006 - Stupid Jerk Anticipated to Burn in Hell for Selling Newly-Acquired PlayStation 3 on eBay for $9,000
November 15, 2006 - Kevin Federline’s New Fragrance, “It Was Good While It Lasted” to Hit K-Mart Shelves Just in Time for the Christmas Layaway Rush
November 15, 2006 - Santa Claus Announces That He Will Not Be Stocking Sony’s PlayStation 3 for Christmas 2006
November 12, 2006 - Democrats Looking for New and Creative Ways to Clean Up Republican Nightmare
November 8, 2006 - Elderly Floridian Voters Thought They Were Voting for Jesus Christ, Not Charlie Crist
October 29, 2006 - Woman Plans Sluttiest Halloween Costume to Date
October 22, 2006 - Local Chinese Restaurant Boasts 100% Revenue Increase from Local Writer over Weekend