NORTH POLE (Just Laugh) – In a move that shocked Sony shareholders and sent children across the globe into a panic searching for alternative gift ideas, Santa Claus, the largest distributor of toys and presents during the Christmas holiday season, formally announced Monday morning that due to concerns about availability and an insurmountable demand for the product, he will not be stocking any of the widely-anticipated PlayStation 3 game console from Sony Entertainment for distribution in 2006.
“It’s unfortunate that these companies haven’t seemed to learn from their mistakes,” Santa explained to a small group of press at his headquarters at the North Pole, “but it’s just not feasible for us to play those kinds of odds and frankly, it’s just not worth the effort. The video game manufacturers plan their entire strategies on creating consoles that will be the hit of the holiday season – what’s the use if their customers can’t even get their hands on one?!”
The comments of Father Christmas, of course, are referring to criticisms that just as Microsoft was unable to meet the holiday production demands for the release of its X-Box 360 game system in 2005, leaving thousands of fans empty-handed and leading many to pursue ungodly prices of double or triple on eBay and other Internet sites for the system, Sony Entertainment has been regarded as right in line for a repeat performance of the marketing blunder this year with their highly-coveted PlayStation 3.
Santa Claus further explained, “I know that a lot of the kids on my list this year will be asking for the PS3 and they just don’t understand the economics behind our position, so I’m looking to their parents to trust me on this one. To be completely honest with you, Sony doesn’t cut me any better deal than they do your local Wal-Mart or Best Buy and all of the shoppers that have been trampled in those stores know exactly what I’m talking about here. I can send a dozen elves out on the streets and they might come back with a dozen game systems – between them all – or I can send them elsewhere to work with companies that actually understand supply and demand.”
A representative of Santa’s council assured reporters that “…unless Sony is really out of their gourds on this one, Santa will plan to honor any gift requests for the PS3 in the Christmas 2007 timeframe.” Santa’s Gift Compliance Committee has compiled a list of suggested wish list substitutions for the PlayStation 3 that is available online at www.santa.com.
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