LOS ANGELES (Just Laugh) – “Any unauthorized usage of our contact, now and potentially in the future, must be dealt with swiftly and ferociously…”
These were the words of Universal Music Group Media Relations Executive Roberta Francis in response to a recent lawsuit filed by the company against one Paulina Cessina for illegally downloading over 1500 of their clients’ songs from various online file-sharing websites. But unlike many other recent lawsuits in which the defendants either didn’t have Internet access or didn’t even own computers, the case of Paulina Cessina stands on a mountaintop of its own because Paulina Cessina has yet to be born.
It’s because of this particular detail that soon-to-be parents Robert and Susan Cessina were all the more shocked when they received the subpoena from Matthews, Mitchell & Buckley, one of the many law firms working on behalf of Universal Music Group to serve justice for its vast array of creative artists. Susan Cessina is currently 33 weeks pregnant and the couple has frantically been making preparations for the arrival of their new daughter, stockpiling diapers, decorating her room, and now searching for the baby’s first attorney.
“I honestly thought it was a joke,” Robert Cessina, the father-to-be commented about the pending lawsuit, “but when I called the number on the letter, all I got was a very serious lawyer guy telling me that this ‘thievery’ committed by my yet-to-be-born daughter would not be tolerated. We just really don’t have time for this nonsense right now…”
We were unable to get any comment from the mother-to-be that could actually be printed, however it is safe to say that this is one file-sharing lawsuit that will not be settled out of court by the unsuspecting defendants. “Right now I’m just focusing my time on my wife and getting ready for our new daughter,” Robert told us, “however once she’s been born, we’ll deal with this whole lawsuit thing and prove just how insane these lawsuits have become.”
Steven Matthews of Matthews, Mitchell & Buckley commented, “Universal Music Group looks forward to its day in court with Paulina Cessina and expects to use this case as an example to all others that file-sharing is a serious offense no matter how big or small you may be.”
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