LOS ANGELES (Just Laugh) – It was normally a joyous and fruitful day for Joe Sanford, one that he looked forward to celebrating with the closest of friends each and every year, but looking back, this year St. Patrick’s Day only left Sanford with feelings of guilt and remorse, as opposed to the intoxicated bliss to which he’d previously been accustomed.
“I don’t know what was different this year,” explained Sanford, “but when I work up this morning with half a mug of green beer leftover on the nightstand and some chunky, redheaded Irish girl sleeping on my arm, I knew that enough was finally enough.” Sanford had spent the previous night, and most of the afternoon, at O’Riley’s Street Pub in West Hollywood, where he and dozens of other Irish Americans gather each year to celebrate their Irish heritage by wearing green and getting sloppy drunk on green alcoholic beverages. The group proudly held the bar’s record for the most purposely-green-colored beers consumed in a single 12-hour period, an honor to which many ill-remembered hook-ups were attributed to the morning after.
When asked of the redheaded damsel that he had awoken with that morning, Sanford shook his head and replied, “I don’t remember much of what happened, but I know that she had one of those, ‘Kiss Me – I’m Irish’ pins on her blouse … and as drunk as I was, you can see that I took complete advantage of that offer! Man, I am such an idiot…”
After fifteen full minutes of shame and regret in the shower as he contemplated ways of removing the large woman from his home, Sanford vowed never to drink green beer and to spend next year’s St. Patrick’s Day learning more about the real history behind his Irish ancestors by watching Lord of the Dance on DVD.
 |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
