Comedic-Genius Media - Showcasing the writing and other creative works of Scott Sevener...
Not Quite the News... is a satirical news feature that unofficially began at Just Laugh magazine in 2002 and currently spans 49 stories

Back in 2002, I learned during my Just Laugh days that there was really only one type of reporting that I could ever be any good at - the kind where you just make everything up yourself without ever leaving your desk or really even doing any type of "research" whatsoever. Of course, it's always a little bittersweet when the fake news is more entertaining than the real story, but what can you do?

October 18, 2006 - Office Worker Proclaims to Co-Workers “At Least It’s Friday!” for 130th Week in a Row
September 1, 2006 - NASA Advisors Deem Boardwalk to Connect Earth and Mars “Impractical”
February 1, 2006 - Woman Pays for Something with Her Own Money
September 30, 2003 - Olsen Twins Tighten Their Grip on Corporate America
September 12, 2003 - Local Students Uncover Ancient Cheese Mine
August 26, 2003 - 80’s TV Legend ALF Announces Candidacy for California Governor
August 22, 2003 - Detroit Lions Gear Up for Another Season of Lack-Luster Performance, This Year with Clowns!
August 14, 2003 - Obese Woman Files Lawsuit Against Squirrel
July 15, 2003 - “Prison Bitch” Prospect Deters Former File Swappers
July 9, 2003 - New Line of “Pope Active Wear” Just in Time for Fall!
June 23, 2003 - Nation-wide Heat Waves Encourage Residents to Make It a <Insert Your Local Video Store> Night
June 2, 2003 - Worldwide Man-Hunt for Jesus Christ Continues…
May 29, 2003 - Most “Reality TV Shows” are Fake
May 12, 2003 - President Bush Finally Admits to Not Having the Slightest Clue About Running the Country
April 19, 2003 - Woman Goes “Back,” Only Shortly After Going “Black”
March 10, 2003 - Willis and Other Hollywood Icons to Defeat Iraq Themselves
December 2, 2002 - Snore Your Way to Super Bowl XXXVII
November 28, 2002 - “It’s going to be crazy out there!” local man reports…
October 14, 2002 - Men Clarify Previous Sex Study
August 30, 2002 - I’m Gonna Kill That !&#^*!(&# Cricket…
August 9, 2002 - Senior Citizens Accidentally Purchase “Leftover” WorldCom Stock
July 21, 2002 - Ground-Breaking Discovery: “It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity…”
July 1, 2002 - Internet Summer Maintenance Schedule Announced
June 11, 2002 - Lakers NBA Victory Marked on 2003 Calendars