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Editorial Note: This article originally appeared in The Weekly Choice on April 1, 2004.
I’ve got to tell you that without a doubt, April Fool’s Day is both my most and least favorite day of the year…and before anyone attempts to ponder that statement too long, allow me to explain myself! You see, it’s a holiday that truly has me torn because although I’d absolutely love to be the joker who spends the entire day running around, playing pranks on his friends, co-workers, and the occasional complete stranger, I’m just not creative enough to pull a job like that off. Maybe if I were to spend, oh say, four or five years planning in advance what kinds of tricks to play, then it would all work out and I could have a jolly good time with it, but honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to be having for breakfast in the morning so making plans that far in advance is like expecting a chicken to be able to tap dance…
Not that I don’t think that one couldn’t, mind you, if given the proper training and so forth! Nonetheless, back to my situation, I can’t really be the practical joker myself, so thus my April Fool’s Day is pretty much devoted to taking in a few quick laughs here and there thanks to the pranks of others, all the while watching my own back like a hawk because who really wants to walk around work all day with confetti in his hair or a purple tongue? I should note, however, that despite not even being a novice prankster, I do have a running scorecard of my all-time favorite gags that have been played not only on individuals, but even on entire states at a time, so in an effort to keep the ball rolling here I thought that we’d take a few minutes to run through that very list!
5. The Taco Liberty Bell – In 1996, the conglomerate that operates Taco Bell announced that they had purchased the rights to Philadelphia’s most prized historic artifact and were renaming it to something that would be more promotionally beneficial to their restaurant chain.
4. Alabama Changes the Value of Pi – In April of 1998, an article in a popular science publication reported that Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of Pi from 3.14159 to “the more Biblical value” of 3.0. Amazingly, this one got even more protests than the Taco Liberty Bell!
3. Gravitationally Challenged – Back in 1976, a British astronomer announced on BBC Radio that for a very brief period of time as Pluto based behind Jupiter, the difference in alignment would lower gravity here on Earth to the point where if an individual were to jump at specifically the right moment, she would actually notice the difference and feel as if she were floating! Again, hundreds called in to speak wonders of the experience, and one even boasted about rising clean out of her chair and floating around the room with her friends…
2. The Left-Handed Whopper – In 1998, Burger King nearly took the cake by publishing an advertisement boasting of a new and improved hamburger crafted “specially for 32 million left-handed Americans.” The ingredients and whatnot were identically the same, except for that everything was rotated 180 degrees to suit the other hand – and thousands actually attempted to get their own hands on one before it was made public that the entire thing was a hoax.
1. Local Columnist Receives Pulitzer Prize for April Fool’s Day Nonsense – In 2004, humor columnist Scott Sevener from the small town of Gaylord, MI stunned the world by taking home a Pulitzer Prize for his sheer brilliance and hilarious dialogue week after week in the area’s favorite publication, the Weekly Choice…
It just goes to show you that nobody’s safe from the joys and the woes that come along each year as spring comes rolling in and April takes off with a bang! Remember, the list I’ve just given to you, along with so many more, are not only funny because they’re so unbelievable, but even more so because people still believed in them anyways. Are YOU an April Fool?!
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