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Life Beyond High School…
It’s hard to believe that it’s that time again already, isn’t it?
For the students it’s a time that seemed like it would never come, and for the parents it’s probably one of those that they would opt to put off just a little bit longer if they had their way, but as time travel continues to not be one of my strong suits, we’re just going to have to take it as it comes and make the best of it…and really, what a glorious time it is! Graduation marks the end of an eighteen year long journey on the road to adulthood, or at least in that general direction, and as no doubt everyone these kids know will be throwing in their two cents about what to expect out of the future, I’m happy to report that I certainly won’t be considering myself exempt from that missive this time around…
You see, much like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, the time of high school commencement is somewhat of a rite of passage to writers everywhere, as we take yet another opportunity to spread our immense wisdom amongst a new generation that will eventually come forth to clear our driveways in the winter and fund our social security benefits. Now of course, I’m not that old…yet…but what I may lack in years I certainly make up for with opinions, so without further a due, I bring you my list of completely random points to consider for the graduating class of 2004 – may the new days before you be joyous and merry, and all that jazz…
- If at first you don’t succeed, make sure that you’re actually in the right class. Being new on campus can be a stressful time and everyone makes mistakes!
- You can tell a lot about a person by the price that they’re willing to pay for rent…and how much of their budget afterwards remains earmarked for essentials like groceries and toiletries. That amazing townhouse and massive DVD collection don’t seem nearly impressive after you learn that they’ve been living on macaroni and cheese for the last seven months…
- Not only is walking good for you, it’ll often safe you a lot of aggravation versus searching for a parking spot five minutes before you’re supposed to be there. And sometimes it’s just easier to…gasp…take the bus. Public transportation can be your friend!
- Stuff costs money out here in the real world – you may need to get a job or something. That’s how the rest of us have been coping with it anyways…
- And for the record, money does not grow on trees. I don’t mean to be a jerk about it – I just don’t want anybody getting their hopes up! It was a good idea, though…
- No matter how hip or trendy your particular music of choice happens to be, it won’t be long before a new generation behind you declares it to be out-of-touch and/or yesterday’s news…and that’s OK!
- If you find yourself ridden with anxiety about leaving home for the first time as you prepare for college, keep in mind that there will always be a home-cooked meal waiting when you come home to visit…and that meal won’t incorporate Ramen Noodles in any way, shape, or form.
- Car insurance rates aren’t coming down anytime soon. It’s okay to cry about it – we all do…
- If Mom and Pop have sprung for a cell phone while you’re away, it’s customary to use at least half of your minutes those first few months reassuring them that you’re OK. Don’t worry – they’ll get sick of your calling soon enough…
- Don’t worry about your folks going ape after they catch wind of your upcoming crazy college antics – they’ve been there before, too! Of course, don’t actually tell them, either, because really the essence of surprise is what makes antics so much fun…
- And staying home for a while after you graduate isn’t exactly the end of the world, either. I did it and look what I’ve accomplished – those 20,000 lights at Christmas-time didn’t put themselves up!
- But most of all, remember this (paraphrased from the ever-knowing words of Dave Barry) – it may be time for us to grow up, but we can always be immature!
Congratulations again, graduates! Enjoy your future, for every drop that it’s worth, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…
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