I’ve got to tell you, I’m really getting tired of pushing that little button…
…and it’s primarily because at any given time, I really haven’t the foggiest idea what in the world I’m getting myself into! Maybe I’m adding a new layer of protection to Windows Firewall, maybe I’m just tweaking some code for Notepad, or maybe I’m making a change that’s going to royally screw up any useful functions that I might still utilize my PC for – I know that they’re kind enough to give us those little “summaries” that are supposed to explain, in a matter of two sentences, why the latest updates are absolutely vital to the integrity of our systems, and from a distance, it actually seems like a good idea, doesn’t it? Monthly, and sometimes even weekly, patches direct from the developer to ensure that our computers are running as up to date and secure as possible – sounds great!
Well, at least it does until something goes horribly wrong and you find your system officially hosed, all thanks to Windows Update! That’s where I found myself this week after I set aside some time yesterday afternoon to finally download and install all of the patches that have been backlogged on my taskbar for the past month or so. I might do them more often, but as they often require completely rebooting the PC and it took me only once to realize that sometimes Microsoft doesn’t even bother to give us the option of rebooting at a later time, I tend to put these things off until I know that I’ve got some time on my hands to reboot several times…and in this case, troubleshoot the damages.
…and twenty-four hours later, it seems that I’m still going to need a little more time to get that troubleshooting done successfully…
In this particular instance, I now have the distinct pleasure of getting up to go do something else while I’m downloading something…anything, really. You see, whenever my computer tries to pull something off the Internet – a picture, a song, and especially a video or larger file – my system bogs down back to the days of the 286, where only the dream systems could run Wolfenstein 3d and multi-tasking wasn’t yet a bragging point for the Windows operating system. When the download completes, my system is returned back to normal and I can continue surfing the web, balancing my checkbook, looking at pornography, or whatever it may have been that was interrupted when the download began. In fact, even if I just happen to hit a particularly graphics-intense website, I’m toast until the download completes. Come to think of it, it’s kind of like being on dial-up all over again…
Of course, I swore to myself that I would never go back to the days of dial-up at any cost and now the same happens to apply for Windows Update, which I’m sure security experts will scorn because there are all sorts of vital improvements to be had from Windows Update! Well, to each his own and I’m not exactly about to shout out here that everyone should turn off all of the security features in their machines, but I’ve never been hit with any of the nonsense that has everyone else running scared these days. In fact, I’ve never installed anti-virus software to this date and the only firewall protection that I have in place is that which is offered by my router. I know, I’m a crazy man!
It’s just gotten out of control, up to the point where people are too paranoid to do anything online except download updates to make their machines faster and more secure…or at least that’s what they think they’re doing. I know that the Internet’s become a more chaotic place for the casual user, but I think the corporations behind these pieces of software push it to the extreme when they know all too well that a little education could help to save these people a lot more hassle than a yearly subscription to updates for their software. Then again, it’s a lot more difficult to put a price on knowledge these days, now isn’t it?
I have friends who have e-mail accounts, but it’s not worth writing to them anymore because they’ll never get my mail – “I get 1000 SPAM messages a day, so I have to run four different filtering programs!” I have fans that would love to get my columns each week in their e-mail, but can’t manage to get them past said filtering software. I even have relatives who’ve never visited any of my websites online because they get so many pop-ups now, the only website they’ll ever log into is hotmail…and that’s just to spend an hour a day deleting bulk e-mail! If someone had sat down with them and spent a good hour on the basics when they first were introduced to the Internet – don’t use your regular e-mail address to sign up for every this and that, don’t click on those little boxes when every website wants to install their own search bar in your browser, don’t believe all of the hype that the girls are spouting down at the beauty shop about the dangers of being online. If only someone had taken these steps, I think that the majority of users today would be ok, but then again, I just don’t have that kind of time on my hands!
So instead, we subject ourselves to patch after patch as the bad guys come up with new and ever-intriguing ways to invade upon our personal space, knowing all too well that eventually our PCs will become so bogged down that it’ll be time to just toss it and buy a new one that’s slightly more up to date than its predecessor. I didn’t necessarily want this to be a column based on fighting against the business model of the computing world, but it seems to me that we should be purchasing newer models because they’re bigger and better, not simply because they’re what’s needed to survive on the Internet these days. I also have to question what’s being done differently here because frankly, when was the last time you heard a huge stink about needing to patch all of the Apple or UNIX boxes around the world because of a major security flaw???
And sorry, but I don’t think that Microsoft is subject to more attacks simply because they’re the majority – the rich guy will get no pity from me here!
When it all comes down to it, I don’t really think that I ask for much out of my PC. All I need is simple access to the Internet, Microsoft Office, and the ability to run a few games or applications here and there as I get addicted to them. I’ll make the updates when you’ve deemed them important enough to release as an official service pack, but as far as these weekly bits and pieces as run across flaws and bugs – I’m done with them. It may be against my best interests from Microsoft’s point of view, but I’m sorry to report that it’s against the best interest of my free time over the next several weeks to risk having to tear my system apart, should something go wrong with what you’re trying to fix. I’ve seen the other side of the coin and just between you and me, I’ll take my chances without the five-minute updates…
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some downloading to do…sort of.
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