It was a clear and sunny day in Central Florida. Although a cool breeze wafted in off the water in sporadic bursts, it certainly wasn’t enough to mask the fact that it was going to be a warm day. Then again, when in Florida it seems like pretty much all the days are warm days, but there are always those select few people who have to learn the hard way…or the hot way, as the case may be…

He had strolled into town many a moon ago without much notice at all, but deep down he knew that it was only a matter of time before all the men and women (especially the women!) knew his name. That’s how it always ended up working out anyways – it was almost as if it was genetic…just something underneath his skin that was completely and totally beyond his control. All things considered, though, he certainly didn’t let it get to him – you can’t, really – not and expect to be happy with your life at the same time, anyways.

You see, The Kid was one of the most laid-back partners that would ever cross your path, and maybe sometimes that wasn’t as much of a good thing as one might think. For it is only a fine line between being relaxed and just plain lazy, and since our society tends to see the negative long before the positive, it’s probably safe to say that more than a handful regarded The Kid as that second one…but you know what? He didn’t let that get to him, either, because he knew the difference between relaxation and laziness, and when you’re somebody like The Kid, I guess you just get used to a certain amount of jeering – it kinda comes with the territory, if you will…

Today’s story is an epic one in the effect that it was pretty much responsible for revealing The Kid’s identity to his new home town, and although he would’ve preferred to tell them all under his own terms, that just wasn’t the way this hand was dealt…and a good thing, too, as it certainly wouldn’t have made for as interesting of a tale! Nonetheless, The Kid knew that he couldn’t hide it forever, so in a way it was almost a godsend to simply get it out in the open instead of milling about until the truth finally opted to surface…

But where were we? That’s right – “…a clear and sunny day…” – funny how that’s how most of The Kid’s stories seemed to start out! Well, on this particular clear and sunny day, The Kid had made the decision to venture forth into the world seeking entertainment that didn’t appear on a monitor or television screen – you know, the kind that actually involves putting on shoes and breathing fresh air and so on and so on. The Kid typically avoided gatherings of such a large scale, as we all know that they seem to be a breeding ground for idiots wherever you go, but he wasn’t going to let the moronic plague ruin his day…of course, he would later on learn that that had already been covered!

The activity itself was that of a massive air show, with biplanes and jets and enough sheer masculinity to make any man feel at home…and many lesbians as well! The skies were filled with stunts and tricks galore, fly-bys and loop-de-loops – you name it, but unfortunately those skies were also filled with something else that fateful afternoon…something much less entertaining, might I add. Now I don’t mean to sound all preachy or anything, but very few people fully understand the scorching powers of that great big ball of fire in the sky that we refer to as our sun…and sadly enough, neither did The Kid. You never quite feel the overall wrath of the flames until after the fact, and that’s exactly how it happened that fateful day for The Kid as well…

The show was fantastic, and the time out-of-doors was certainly long overdue – that I’m sure he wouldn’t dispute – but of course, as anyone around would also remark, it was the aftermath that was something less to be desired! Of all the creatures roaming this Earth that we all would most like to imitate, it would be safe to say that the lobster lands at the bottom of the list…especially without the claws and feelers and whatnot. Nonetheless, The Kid would soon take on the form of the saltwater-dwelling beast for an enduring two weeks, pink and irritable, always jumpy and ready to strike, until finally peeling away the pain and starting anew not a moment too soon! The Kid knew this path all too well, for he had traveled it many a time before, but he never quite learned…really, who does?

Well, hopefully one of you out there will take a little something from this tale, whether it be that sunscreen can play a crucial role in life out-of-doors or simply that airplanes are neat and amazing things to look at – I can’t make that decision for you. That’s the beauty of living your own life, really – the whole freethinking, for better or for worse! I do hope, however, that you’ll at least take some note at The Kid’s discomfort because, well, it’d be a shame to think that nobody learned from his mistakes. Oh, he’ll get burned again – he always does – but when you stop and think about it, what would we call him if he didn’t???

You may see him from afar and call him the laziest man you’ve ever seen, but folks like me know him by another name – The Sunburn Kid…