With Valentine’s Day coming up in less than two weeks, it won’t be long before all of those puff pieces about diamonds and chocolate and stuffed teddy bears depicting even your partner’s most mundane of interests will be popping up on every news program, paper, magazine, website, or neural implant that you use to consume your media content these days…
I don’t know what it is, but I guess I’ve just really been eating a lot of pies the last couples of weeks…
I swear, sometimes I miss the good, old days when she would just crap right there in the middle of the floor and get it over with because at least that I could bag up and throw out with the garbage…
I’m sure if they had any idea of the colossal mess that these seemingly harmless fillers can impose on an unsuspecting home should the furry walls containing them somehow become compromised, they’d at least put some sort of warning label on the toy’s tag or something … wouldn’t they?
We’ve driven over 1,600 miles, we’ve celebrated the holidays with two different families, we’ve cleaned up plenty of puppy byproducts along the way, and through it all, these are the things that I’ve learned…
I know that I haven’t really been updating the blog portion of this site much recently, so I just wanted to take a moment to instead point you over to my personal blog, where I’ve been blogging about all sorts of stuff on a very regular basis, including a special advent series of holiday posts [...]
A pilgrimage of epic proportions, only to be repeated every couple of years, and even then only if we still happen to be on speaking terms with the lot of them (or each other even!) by the time we manage to find our way back home again…
Frosted Santas and gingerbread men are just as big a part of my holiday celebrations as the HoneyBaked Ham and the succulent, sweet and sour meatballs, and every other dish that makes my mouth water at the very thought of Christmastime growing near…
What exactly do you get the puppy who would just as soon eat the tree itself if I hadn’t taken the necessary precautions to erect a special puppy-proof barrier around its base to keep her malicious mouth precariously at bay?!
For all I know maybe the courts are just the festive and fun-loving type to get in on some of this holiday action, too, instead making jury duty a celebration to look forward to instead of something to fear to the point of actually considering removing my own gall bladder just to weasel my way out of it…
Do you really think that a waffle maker that costs less than a Big Mac from McDonald’s is capable of doing anything other than burning your kitchen to the ground in a fiery inferno???
It was a no-good, rotten, despicable thing to do and frankly I feel absolutely horrible about it, but because we all know that trust is paramount between a humor columnist and his adoring readers in this otherwise fickle world of lies and deceit, I feel compelled to just come clean and let you know straight up…
If you’re anything like me, the thought of doing 100 of just about anything is enough to bring sweat to your brow and make you reach for another cold can of Diet Coke in defeat…
Once I realized that this week’s column would be my 400th, the obvious question was – how did I get here? Well, at least after first asking, “So do I get some sort of trophy???” anyways…
When I find myself walking down those hallowed aisles, I see it as a responsibility to choose the best variety that my hard-earned money can buy…
There’s no better way to jump start your day than by sleeping through a significant portion of it…
The statute of limitations regarding acceptable places for a puppy to relieve herself in my house has long since expired…
Up until now I’ve made a considerable effort to limit myself to meats that have actually been cooked – it’s a policy that has served me quite well over the years…
If my Rubber Ducky can tolerate a bit of back-and-forth brainstorming banter during our regularly scheduled bonding ritual, then float me that purple bathtub crayon and let’s get to writing!
“No, Scott – BLARGHHHZ isn’t a word, either…”
When push comes to shove, you’ve got to jump on these things while they’re hot and get in on the ground floor if you’re really serious about being the bee’s knees in this baby’s eyes once she gets around to actually keeping them open on a regular basis…
At least apples and oranges have the decency to grow hanging on trees in plain sight, but so many vegetables grow underground or out of sight – who knows what they’re doing when they’re down there?!
Even though it doesn’t look like he’s updated for a while, this site is just fun to flip through and checkout all of the awesome kinds of pancakes that Jim has made for his daughter. My own personal favorites? dinosaur pumpkin! (of course…) toilet (because apparently I have the sense of humor of a three [...]
Normally I’m not really even one for “practical gifts” because I feel like if I really need a new pair of socks, I’d much rather just go buy them myself than waste valuable birthday merriment unwrapping them before cake and ice cream on my one special day of the year…
For your astute reference.
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